Renowned actress Kim Kardashian, who has previously appeared in such high-quality films as “Disaster Movie,” has a supporting role in Tyler Perry’s upcoming drama-thriller (I’m trying so hard not to laugh right now) “Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor.” The reality TV starlet plays Ava, an assistant to the marriage counselor played by Jurnee Smollett-Bell, whose character is tempted by a social media entrepreneur into a life of drugs, sex and drinking.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Damn, couldn’t even make it to the third sentence).
While I will not be seeing the latest Tyler Perry movie and so cannot provide my own assessment of Ms. Kardashian’s acting abilities, you’re in luck: Many critics already have weighed in on her performance. Here are their assessments, complete with my reactions using campy, 1960s Batman-style noises.
Peter Sobczynski noted that “it is perhaps ironic that someone so famous for her curves could deliver her lines so flatly.”
Frank Scheck of The Hollywood Reporter is not as kind as Mr. Sobczynski in his assessment: “Kim Kardashian[‘s]…monotonous line readings demonstrate that she saved her real acting talents for her sex tape.”
Though there are more reviews, let’s finish with The Washington Post’s Jen Chaney, whose critique is particularly scathing. It’s obvious from the moment she starts writing that Ms. Chaney is still seething from being forced to sit through the movie. She begins by saying, “Perry has already committed so many cinematic sins in this intelligence-insulting film. Arguably, the biggest one of all: casting Kim Kardashian in a supporting role.”
Wow, Chaney bringing it strong.
She continues: “Wait, Kim Kardashian is in this? And she’s trying to act?”
Don’t stop now, Chaney; you’re on a roll.
The columnist concludes: “She’s previously played pretend people on TV and in occasional movies, in addition to the actual fake person (herself) she plays on ‘Keeping Up With the Kardashians’ — she appears to have zero experience uttering dialogue for the purposes of storytelling. She’s just dreadful.”
Whoa, OK, Chaney. Calm down. That last one was a little personal. I should probably leave the sound effect off of this one. That was vicious.
KA-POW! (I couldn’t resist).
To be fair, Ms. Kardashian’s performance wasn’t the only part of the movie reviewed in a negative light. The entire thing was panned by reviewers who called it “laughable,” “terminally boring” and “[a] hackneyed melodrama.”
But doesn’t every Tyler Perry movie and Kim Kardashian product receive these same reviews? Yet, the reviews don’t affect the most important thing in the Perry/Kardashian universe: money. Why do Tyler Perry movies keep being made? Because they bring in crazy cash. Ditto with any commodity that is branded with the Kardashian label. Negative reviews aren’t a bad thing for Perry/Kardashian, they’re just more advertising.
So get your shots in now, critics.
Because Tyler Perry and Kim Kardashian will be laughing all the way to the bank.
Previously from Charlie Crespo:
♦ How Did “This is the End” Get So Many Famous People in One Movie?
♦ Syfy’s Robot Combat League
♦ Chris Bosh’s Super-Slow-Motion Scream in All its Glory
♦ National Travesty Alert: Justin Bieber’s Monkey Confiscated at Munich Airport
♦ Pavel Datsyuk is a Bad Man