I’ve started this list based on observations I’ve made living in Miami and observing the cult surrounding the Miami Heat, but I’d love for readers (both die-hard fans and casual observers) to finish it. By the way, I do all of these things.
Being a Miami Heat fan means:
♦ Thinking you are better than everyone else.
♦ Feeling better about the fact that the Marlins suck, because at least the Heat don’t.
♦ Having called Pat Riley a “boss,” “gangster,” “don,” or “pimp” multiple times in the last week.
♦ Wearing Heat memorabilia to non-basketball sporting events, or to your sister’s wedding.
♦ Trying to concoct a believable story that supports the claim that you “were a fan before LeBron and Bosh came.”
♦ Not worrying about the regular season because you realize all that matters are the playoffs.
♦ Not worrying about the playoffs because you know the Heat are going to win the championship at least two years in a row.
♦ Thinking that your out-of-town friends care as much about the famed winning streak as you do.
♦ Becoming irate when a fan of another team suggests that Wade is not playing his best game ever.
♦ Having a love-hate relationship with Erik Spoelstra’s cartoon face.
Previously from Laura Creel:
♦ Taco Bell’s Questionable Cantina Menu Campaign
♦ Minnesota Representatives Show Us They’re Serious About America’s Problems
♦ ‘Ware the Monkey!
♦ St. Augustine’s Scrumptious Stuffed Cabbage
♦ Endless Highway: An Interview with Kelley McRae