Sink, Florida, Sink

Florida elected this guy … twice! (Screen shot from https://youtu.be/auK5E1YcKhQ)

Listen, Floridians aren’t offended by all the jokes made at our expense. We get it.

Florida — with south Florida breeding its own special kind of crazy — is an insane place and one rife with contradictions. It’s beautiful and hideous, wonderful and awful, hot and … well actually it’s always just hot. And while the country-at-large continues to be amazed and loves to laugh at each day’s new #Floridaman story, we just kind of shrug our shoulders. Yes, of course it’s crazy, but it’s also strangely banal at this point.

Do we have zombies here that will eat your face? Yep.

Will we attack our own family members over undercooked noodles? Sure.

Will we elect (and reelect) a dumb, evil, and corrupt governor that bears a striking resemblance to Lord Voldermort to run our magical state? Of course we will.

So when that ignorant and unscrupulous governor decrees that “climate change” and “global warming” are banned from use in official documents, because he doesn’t believe that it’s a thing, even though science continues to show otherwise and Florida is one of the most susceptible states should sea levels continue to rise, does that shock us? Nope.

And what about when further news comes out that a high-ranking official in the state government was suspended and ordered to get a mental examination because he wouldn’t go along with this dumb policy — does not even that stagger us? Nah.

Gif taken from http://www.gifbin.com/981588

If you’ve lived in Florida long enough, you sort of just need to laugh to keep from crying when you hear things like this. Throw up the Bugs-Bunny-sawing-Florida-off-from-the-U.S. gif and move on with your day.

Because when Florida eventually sinks into the ocean, as it assuredly will due to inept government at local, state, and federal levels, none of us will be surprised.

You’ve had a good run, Florida; you’ve had a good run.

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Charlie Crespo (@Little_Utopia) is the editor-in-chief of Little Utopia.