Ban Super Bowl Sunday

Marshawn Lynch eating Skittles

You at your friend’s Super Bowl party. (Screen shot from http://youtu.be/Cz8ENFKYXe0)

If you want #hotsportstakes on the ending of Super Bowl XLwhatever, go somewhere else.

There are plenty of places where you can read about how Seattle Seahawks’ head coach Pete Carroll made THE WORST CALL EVER (even though his decision process was entirely logical). In hot take land, I’m sure you can also get spicy opinions on whether Tom Brady is the greatest QB to ever pick up a football too (he isn’t).

This article has a far nobler purpose than all that: sparking a nationwide movement to end Super Bowl Sunday.

Death to Super Bowl Sunday! we shall shout in the streets.

But why would we want to kill America’s favorite holiday? Well, we’re not actually trying to end it. Just move it a little. But Please Move the Super Bowl from Sunday to Saturday for Reasons We Can Explain if Necessary! just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

Here are the reasons we should end Super Bowl Sunday though, for those who need some justification before they just start randomly shouting in the streets:

1) Almost everyone has to go back to work the next day.

That’s it.

And when we have the biggest nationwide party of the year on a day before everyone goes back to work, many people will either be really sleepy and unproductive at work or won’t go to work at all. This causes companies to lose money and people to get fired. No one wants that.

To fix this dumb problem, let’s just all be reasonable and move this thing to Saturday next year. We’ll all still enjoy it just as much, and we won’t have to drag ourselves bleary-eyed and sleep-deprived to work the next day.

Please email your Congress(wo)man about this pressing issue as soon as possible.

______________________________________________________________________________

CharlieCharlie Crespo (@Little_Utopia) is the editor-in-chief of Little Utopia.

Previously from Charlie Crespo:
Viral Video of the Week: Hassan Whiteside’s Block Party
Russian Baby Saved by Hero Cat
For the Love: Fort Lauderdale Gets Its Own Music Festival
Viral Video of the Week: Hippos are Terrifying
Viral Video of the Week: Bill Cosby Ridiculed by Tina Fey and Amy Poehler

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