Mountain Dewitos? No No No No No No No No

Say it ain’t so, Mountain Dew. (Screen shot from http://youtu.be/P9cPrmDjdZM)

Listen, I’m all for frankenfoods. Cronuts? Sold. Korean BBQ tacos? Yes, please. Pizza fries? Duh.

So when I heard that Mountain Dew was testing out some crazy new idea, I was intrigued. Franken … soda? Alright, I’ll bite, er, drink.

As far as sodas go, there’s not one better than Mountain Dew. You could argue that point, but you’d be wrong. It’s so good, in fact, that it just might be a gateway soda. So, if you were going to do something crazy with a soft drink, this would be the one to go with.

But damnit, Mountain Dew. You’ve taken things too. TOO FAR, I SAY.

I could understand if Mountain Dew had tried to impart its taste on something like candy. Maybe licorice would work. Or, if the Mountain Dew team really was committed to the frankensoda route, perhaps “jelly doughnut flavor” could’ve been a possibility. Again, sweet could work with sweet.

According to various reports though, Mountain Dew is not interested in a sweet/sweet flavor combination. Instead, Mountain Dew has chosen Doritos as its unholy mate, and the two have combined to spawn “Dewitos.”

*Throws up in mouth a little*

According to Steve Barnes, a freshman at Kent State (because college kids are completely incapable of passing up any thing that is free and can allegedly be consumed), “It honestly wasn’t that disgusting.” A ringing endorsement if I’ve ever heard one, and further proof that the year of Doritos is upon us.

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Charlie Crespo (@Little_Utopia) is the editor-in-chief of Little Utopia.