LeBron James Still Plays for the Miami Heat … in His Heart

The NBA world awaits the second decision (Screen shot from http://youtu.be/_tiTaqEHq3E)

LeBron James (Screen shot from http://youtu.be/_tiTaqEHq3E)

LeBron James doesn’t play for the Miami Heat anymore. He wanted to go home get a lot more power within an organization and all that, so he did. I’m sure you’ve read all about it by now, and may have even read about it on this website.

So James is back with the Cleveland Cavaliers, and everyone knows it. The Miami Heat organization knows it. Dan Gilbert knows it. Every NBA fan knows it. And many, many people on our planet know about it too.

If you had asked James if he knew it, he would have looked at you strangely. Of course I know it, James would have told you. But what he wouldn’t have explained is that he only knows it in his mind, hecause deep in his heart, as evidenced by this play in a preseason game against Miami, James still plays for the Heat.

As you can see, James still longs to play for the team he won two NBA titles with, and he still longs to set picks for Norris Cole’s magical flat top. His mind is telling him that he plays for Cleveland now, and it’s going to look real silly when he sets a pick on his own guy. But the heart wants what the heart wants. So, he does what his heart tells him to do.

After the game though, the reporters were confused. We thought you played for Cleveland now, LeBron, they said. Why did you set a pick on your own guy? they said.

Haha! James laughed in their faces. Silly reporters, I wasn’t setting a pick on my own guy. I was actually doing this high-level basketball thing that your brains couldn’t possibly comprehend.

“For non-basketball people,” James began with a smirk when asked about the apparent blooper before the Cavs played the Indiana Pacers in Cincinnati on Wednesday, “our coverage is for me to show and for Delly [Dellavedova] to go under me and we just didn’t get the call right at the time. Delly was supposed to slide under me and we kind of ran into each other.

“So, for non-basketball people, they like to critique everything that I do. It’s stupid.”

Then, he quietly looked back at the picture of Cole’s flat top in his locker and wiped the tears from his eyes.

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CharlieCharlie Crespo (@Little_Utopia) is the editor-in-chief of Little Utopia.

Previously from Charlie Crespo:
We are All Mike Francesa
Viral Video of the Week: Tiny Horse Does What It Pleases
Definitive Proof That the Miami Dolphins are Cursed
Viral Video of the Week: Football is Harder When You are Tiny
Sevilla FC Got the Best Prize for Winning the Europa League

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2 responses to “LeBron James Still Plays for the Miami Heat … in His Heart

  1. What should I do? Should I just stop setting picks for Cole World? Then he wouldn’t be able to score…”Mo Cheeks! Mo Cheeks! Is that the name of a former NBA player or what Norris Cole says during a table dance”(LeBetard, 2013 rant) Gotta look up Delladova defending Dirk hilarious 30sec video.

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