No matter how many magical things beer does, it never ceases to amaze me.

In the past, it has saved our country from complete embarrassment by allowing our degenerate gambler of a president to pay back his debts. Whoa! Relax, NSA. It was just a joke. Why are your hands so cold?

In the future, it will help us recover from extreme physical exertion by becoming a sports drink. (Listen, Canada. I know we make a lot of jokes at your expense here, but I think I speak for all of us in the U.S. when I say thank you for making that happen. We will chill out with the Rob Ford jokes starting now.)

Damn. I meant starting now. Sorry, Canada. That’s on me.

But oh yeah, beer. Beer isn’t just satisfied with getting shit done in the past and future. Oh no. Beer is working on making the present better for all of us as well.

So when beer heard that grilling meat creates molecules called polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons (PAHs) that can damage DNA and increase the risk of colon cancer it was like chill dudes … I got this.

According to a new study in the Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry, marinating meat in beer before grilling decreases the amount of PAHs per gram of meat. The study also revealed that black beers are more effective than pale or lighter beers (yet another reason to never drink a Natty Light ever again). If you want to read more about the science behind all that, feel free to do so.

Otherwise, let’s all take a minute to toast to our dear friend, beer. Because even though a few too many can lead to lifesucking hangovers, it’s still there to rescue us time and time again.

Homer, will you do the honors?

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Charlie Crespo (@Little_Utopia) is the editor-in-chief of Little Utopia.

Previously from Charlie Crespo:
♦ Viral Video of the Week: BASE Jumping Off the Freedom Tower
♦ OK, Robots, Now It’s Personal
♦ Viral Video of the Week: Highlights on a Budget
♦ Please, People, Vaccinate Your Children
♦ It was the Best of Times, It was the Nelly(est) of Times