Don’t be a Menace to New York City While Drinking Your Adult Bevarage at SantaCon

Screen shot from

You better watch out. You better not cry. You better not pout. I’m telling you why. Because a drunk and belligerent Santa Claus is coming to town … to vomit on your sidewalks. (Screen shot from

See, this is why we can’t have nice things. Because of Santa. Or rather, because of a bunch of drunken bros, who happen to dress up as Santa for SantaCon.

For the unfamiliar, SantaCon is an annual pub crawl that originated in San Francisco in 1994 but has since spread to 300 cities in 44 countries, with the largest event taking place in New York City. Although originally begun as a fun way to donate toys and/or canned food for the needy, SantaCon has increasingly devolved into a drunken shitshow that leaves a trail of destruction in its wake. Good times.

If you’re lucky enough to be in a city that hosts a SantaCon (and you might be soon!), you might be able to see a jolly old Saint Nick passed out on the sidewalk in a pool of his own vomit. Or urinating on the side of your apartment building. Or, if you’re really fortunate this holiday season, you could see a Father Christmas battle royal (the commentary on this video is priceless by the way).

Even though these belligerent Kris Kringle’s are just trying to spread some holiday cheer, a bunch of narcs have started to criticize SantaCon. Business Insider called it “a dreaded annual event where frat house expats wreck havoc on [New York City.]” In The New York Times, Jason O. Gilbert argued that the event should be banned because “it contributes absolutely zero value — cultural, artistic, aesthetic, diversionary, culinary or political — to its host neighborhood. Quite simply, SantaCon is a parasite.”

The event hasn’t received much support from famous New Yorkers, either. Anthony Bourdain took to Twitter a few days ago to blast the event.

And to be honest, I agree with SantaCon’s critics. The event is beyond stupid. It’s a lame excuse for a bunch of entitled 20-to-30 year-olds to get hammered and wreak havoc on a city with no repercussions (as if they ever needed an excuse anyway!). It’s ridiculous that residents of a city have to basically stay locked in their apartment for the day in order to avoid being vomited on or getting caught up in a drunken brawl. And can you imagine what it would be like for your child to have to witness this? And … oh my god.

When did I become 1,000 years old?


CharlieCharlie Crespo (@Little_Utopia) is the editor-in-chief of Little Utopia.

Previously from Charlie Crespo:
Viral Video of the Week: Don’t Let Your Cat Decorate the Christmas Tree
Please, Allow Us to be the First to Welcome You to Creepsville, USA
Yet Another Example of Why Airlines Are Not to be Trusted
Viral Video of the Week: For the Love of Robots
Sure, You Can Take the Sriracha Away … When You Pry It from My Cold, Dead Hands

2 responses to “Don’t be a Menace to New York City While Drinking Your Adult Bevarage at SantaCon

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