Looking for videos of Tyra Banks being self-obsessed, I stumbled upon this video by Us Magazine called “The Perfect Bikini for Your Body.”
I trust Us to give me reliable celebrity news, but I now know that I cannot trust them to give me advice on which bikini I should wear, because despite the title they gave to this video, none of the bodies shown were like “your” (my) body.
Maybe I’m feeling particularly snarky because I didn’t work out today and the media’s pressure on me to be thin/my own insecurities are making me feel guilty for not doing so, but I think Us’ video is pathetic. The majority of their readership’s bodies do not look like the bodies shown on the video — skinny and athletically toned — with small waists and even smaller curves. If you are trying to connect with your audience, a surefire way to not accomplish that goal is to show bodies that are not relatable. This un-relatableness is not only in the visual, but it’s embedded in the language as well through the title they chose to use. The pronoun they use — the “your” — does not match up with the noun it stands in for, the referent — me. So here’s one back to you, where the noun and the pronoun really do correspond: “Your video sucks, Us Magazine.”
Laura Creel (@Little_Utopia) is the managing editor of Little Utopia.
Previously from Laura Creel:
♦ Jantzen Diving Girl Gets the Skinny on Herself
♦ Letter to My Ex
♦ In Memoriam: The Death of Many Cover Letters, Resumes and Job Applications
♦ Songs of My Mother: Part 1
♦ Macklemore’s “Thrift Shop” Gives Us a Run for Our Money
I love the moment at 3:10-ish when she is talking about tops for a bigger bust, but the model doesn’t even have a big bust… at all. Makes a lot of sense.
Haha Sam, I know! That girl “has the measurements of an altar boy” (Colleen Donaghy, 30 Rock). She’s not out of her training bra yet.
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